October 25, 2014

Saturday 13th September-Giggles at Centre Parcs

Morning…took forever to get to Centre Parcs thanks to horrendous traffic on the A303. The only benefit an amazing sunset with the backdrop of Stonehenge and being able to take a photo as stationary.


By the time we arrived my dodgy back was struggling and as I manoeuvred myself on to a chair with table legs in the way I announced “the trouble with a bad back is you can’t spread your legs”…Just what my fellow guests wanted to hear as we sat down to eat! Thankfully a lovely homemade meal and a couple of glasses of vino in the hot tub wiped my aches and pains away although not the cream that I managed to squirt over the table instead of my plate. Not sure whether it is age or mentality that has a lot to answer for.

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Off to the Spa today…hoping we don’t enter the quiet zones and make rude noises with our wet costumes on the tiles so we get the giggles and have to leave like last time!

October 25, 2014

Friday 12th September-Melting Alarm

Morning…miaowing cat alarm woke me this morning and for once at a reasonable time…wish this was so every day! Getting up not going to be helped by the fact that alarm clock has been destroyed and partly my fault.Having an early start each morning to take son to the station I was thinking what a considerate and thoughtful wife I was bending bedroom interrogation light down so it didn’t shine brightly and wake my husband. I didn’t notice that it bent towards the clock and was so hot that the buttons have melted…a silent alarm clock isn’t terribly useful!


Day two of P.E , hoping that my class of 4 year olds have moved on from wearing t-shirts as shorts. Then this evening off to Centre Parks at Longleat… yet to pack.

October 25, 2014

Thursday 11th September-Rabbit Escape

Morning…body temperature last night obviously set to COLD so  struggling to get out of bed this morning. Despite having a walled garden Winston, the rabbit, went walkabouts yesterday and decided to meet the neighbours who had never met him…lucky to not have met his maker as well, as he was spotted running up and down the road. Son plus street children spent TWO hours being rabbit catchers..an outdated career that there is not much call for except apparently in our road…not sure I’d give any of them a reference for this new career opening as I’d have liked the task done quicker!

Husband-these rabbit hunting street children you speak of…surely not in Britain’s second most desirable postcode?

Friend- sultanas is what you need!



October 25, 2014

Wednesday 10th September- Chuffed!

Morning…son number one chuffed that he met his Southampton football hero, son number two chuffed that he has read seven chapters of a book, (unheard of) I will be chuffed if my class of 4 and 5 year olds take less than half an hour to get changed for their first P.E lesson but not sure my husband will be chuffed to know that on discussing sexy voices in the staff room that I announced some people like to listen to his deep actors voice but followed it up with “you don’t have to look at him”…I knew what I meant!


Friend 1- I’ll be chuffed if my daughter gets ready for school in under 30 minutes

Friend 2- I’m chuffed we are half way through the week

Friend 3- I’m chuffed to have a day off work!

Husband- I’m keeping quiet about my chuff

October 25, 2014

Tuesday 9th September- Wondering!

Morning…week two of son’s bedroom decorating and he’s wondering how long it is actually going to take. Ten minutes catching Winston the rabbit and other son is wondering how long that is going to take. Only Tuesday and I’m wondering how long this week is going to take…England were playing football last night and whole family were wondering how long scoring was going to take, but like London buses two eventually came at once so everyone was happy…Switzerland 0 England 2

Well, everyone that is except my Mother-in-law. She heard that my husband on watching a cookery programme where contestants had to make a dish inspired by a loved one suggested ‘blackened toast’, inspired by her!


Mother-in-law- Cheeky so and so

Husband-it’s a Cajun dish

Mother-in -law-I excelled at boil in the bag!


October 25, 2014

Monday 8th September-Swan Award Antics

Morning… yesterday was a day of occasions, some of which I gate crashed! Watched a lovely Jewish wedding relaxing in the hotel garden. Sun was shining and music playing reminded me of our next musical, Fiddler on The Roof.

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Luckily I made it back in time for the Richmond Swan Arts Award ceremony at The Landmark Centre, where our Musical Theatre Company had been nominated for various awards. Unfortunately we won only one, but even more distressing was that husband seemed to match every failed nomination with purchasing another bottle of red…the state of him and his friend at the end of the evening meant my two days of rest and relaxation were soon forgotten in their company!

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Not sure red wine is as good for the grass as it is for the human mind, but it doesn’t go home in a dinner jacket pocket either, so being the driver of two worse for wear men I made an assessment of the situation and decided grass was best!  My Sunday good deed was helping a grown man to the door and trying out every key on a bunch, which I’m sure is normally used to lock up Wormwood Scrubs…halo shining.

Husband-am I to understand that my bottle of Merlot was poured on to a lawn somewhere? Any reason why it couldn’t have been stored safely at home and enjoyed at a later time, perhaps as a basis for a fine sauce or gravy, or (heaven forbid) sipped from a glass.

No..it wouldn’t have survived and neither would I.


October 25, 2014

Sunday 7th September- Oldies Spa Weekend

Morning…ladies in their fifties Spa weekend at Sopwell House in Herts.

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It started with us spending 5 minutes trying to unlock the wrong room…159 is very similar to 156  and in our fifties with deteriorating eye sight and brain cells its an easy mistake, although which body part was at fault I couldn’t say! Let’s all bring a few snacks for a light lunch it was suggested…the abundance of food and drink provided by five was so hugely embarrassing that after unpacking and with the knowledge the porter was about to arrive we stuffed everything in a drawer out of sight. Once he had left we unpacked excess amounts of food and drink to find the unnoticed Holy Bible underneath, which might have been trying to tell us something.

We all had two much needed relaxing beauty treatments.Glad the therapist left me alone to get ready as the sight of me trying to hoist ageing body on to a rather high massage bed was a sight to behold! It has yet again reaffirmed the fact that body is getting old and doesn’t move as it once did.. was hoping that after a back, shoulder massage and facial it would take ten years off me but sadly think it it was more like ten minutes!

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Anyway we ate huge amounts of delicious food which helped expanding waistlines, drank not as much alcohol as we used to, which helped ageing livers and chatted for England and Wales (one friend is Welsh) which helped exercise vocal chords and UK relations so all is good in the world!


October 18, 2014

Saturday 6th September- Spa or Spar

Morning…oh so tired after bad night’s sleep…any bright spark out there want to invent a temperature changing mattress and duvet for women of a certain age? Cats and children don’t help and watching Escape to the Country was appealing rather than mind numbing! Hoping day two of steroids and a couple of headache tablets might help me spring into action of sorts. Off to a Spa hotel with my old college friends so action limited but looking forward to excelling in A* subjects.

Just as well I noticed spell check as it was sending me to Spar, that well known local food store, which wouldn’t be as exciting! Have a good weekend all…I’m hoping to.

Friend 1-in an attempt to educate the educator, the word ‘Spar’ in dutch means ‘fir’ and right from the start the fir tree was used as the symbol to identify the organisation. The word ‘Spaar’ in dutch means ‘savings’


Friend 2- Morning..I’m taking brother to buy something smart for Swan awards

Friend 1-Don’t go to Spar for outfit, they mostly sell out of date spam

Friend 3- Good to be educated re.Spar

Friend 1-Knowledge is power!

Husband-Spar is also an anagram of rasp, which is the sound I’m just making.

Me- Thanks, will look at Spar in a new light…energy saving perhaps!

Friend 1-I see what you did there!

Mother in Law- Why don’t you get one of those chilled pillows? They guarantee to keep cool!

My Christmas list has started…

October 18, 2014

Friday 5th September-Car Alarm Nightmare

Morning…Lovely catch up at the pub and would have benefited from good night’s sleep but sadly not to be. Woken at 4am by persistent car alarm going off. Mutter to husband “Is that yours?”…one way to get him moving and fast! Couldn’t find his keys so that got me moving…although slow! Middle of the night so trying to be quiet, but with siren wailing and husband shouting our house volume button was at its maximum. Keys eventually found in his jeans pocket. We will be Mr and Mrs Popular today, the car will be at the garage today and I will be very sleepy today…just as well I’m back on the steroids to get me moving, although I would be grateful if the moving was with the energy of a twenty something and not a woman of my actual age.

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October 18, 2014

Thursday 4th September-Burnt Bottom

Morning…Enjoyed “Go,go Joseph”, sang along and did the hand jive, probably annoying the man sitting next to me, who had a face like a slapped arse but his family were doing the same and he didn’t look amused at them either so I continued and ignored his inability to look happy.

Sadly my breakfast is lacking with no bread, back is itchy with recurring sun rash and bottom is slightly burnt after bending down to dry myself in en suite shower room…it’s a tight squeeze and the radiator was on!

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Would like to know why son would state he was cross with ME because cat was sick on his bed. Nearly Friday…