February 13, 2015

Friday 6th February Embarrassing Moments!

Morning…so it’s Friday and we’re back to inappropriate reading material. Yesterday a parent came into school and after reading with the children, he went to change the reading book with the child. He was reading the book titles of each book to find one the child hadn’t read and as he read a particular title, he could’t help but stifle a giggle.

photo 3 (33)photo 1 (57)

A colleague standing next to him heard, as he read the title and laughed. She did not know what to do or say but glanced down to find the book she was looking at was called ‘Look up, look down’…which is exactly what she did at that moment..with embarrassment!

Today the same parent came in to read and a colleague decided to suggest jokingly he chose his books carefully. He did his reading stint and as we had so many parent helpers in class, the reading session was very quick and he left saying chirpily “in, out, job done!”..now his turn to become embarrassed as he realised what he had said and how it could be interpreted!

Our space theme is continuing and last night’s take home cooking of alien trifle pots apparently tasted better than they looked. The jelly which started out bright green, turned an unappealing and rather embarrassingly dirty, snot colour..very unappertising but apparently ok to the taste buds!

photo 4 (23)

Last night, when work finished I had my Performing Arts Choir who are learning various folk songs from England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland for a local song fest. One song you don’t want to make a spelling mistake with when giving out song sheets for the children to learn, is the Irish folk song Cockles and Mussels.

cockles and mussels

Luckily, it was spotted before too much damage was done and it became embarrassing with parents. However, not before we had printed out several copies and started to give them to children before instantly asking for them back, which they thought was most strange! We did laugh at the near miss and one colleague said “What a good name for a replacement of the Chippendales!”..sadly, we are not in charge of naming them!

My day was also spent planning resources for next week, which seems to involve an abundance of underpants activities..imagine next weeks possible embarrassing moments..the things I do for work!

Sometimes I do wish I wasn’t a red head who gets embarrassed easily, as my personality seems to find it so easy to do!!

February 11, 2015

Thursday 5th February Fondue Food Fest

Morning…my kitchen has bi-fold doors and an extra window, but sadly, I’ve only seen them in the dark! A lot of laughs with the team last night at our fondue evening. There was so much food and drink when we started but not a lot left when we finished!

photo 1 (56)

There were several quotes of the evening..one ridiculous comment was from me. A colleague told us about her cats and how one had no eyes and was blind. I asked “How does she see?”… what a dimwit I am, she doesn’t, but the quick retort from the owner of the cat was, “out of her backside!” She told us how one of her cats got into the tumble dryer and she only noticed when it made a kerlunk sound. Poor old cat came out smelling of comfort and looking particularly fluffy!

We had two fondue’s for eight of us and along with the chatter and wine we spent the evening dipping in our forks to cook pieces of chicken, beef, prawns and fish..a working supper..well, my arm worked and my mouth worked even harder and as a colleague said it was a very enjoyable evening of ‘dip, do and reload’ (quote number two)

photo 2 (53)

Food seemed to feature in much of our conversation and the discussion moved on to a secret yummy recipe for chocolate Brownies given as a gift to staff at Christmas. One colleague had made the brownies but hadn’t been able to follow the instructions properly as it talked about measuring ingredients in cups. The colleague who gave them answered with quote number three “you should have said and I would let you borrow my cups”.. really..not very helpful if you are a DD cup size lending to someone who is an A! When you’ve had a few wines sadly ,every word that has a different connotation makes you smile :-)

However the quote of the night was regarding an Oreo cheesecake.

photo 4 (22)

Sadly, the cheesecake had not set, so was more an oreo slush than cake, which considering the theme this week is aliens, was actually quite apt. The colleague who made it said “It was fine when I made it two weeks ago” to which another responded incredulously, “you made that two weeks ago!”

As well as the cheesecake, we had fresh fruit which we dipped in chocolate sauce apparently purchased from Robert Dyas which I would recommend!

photo 3 (32)photo 5 (16)

All in all it was a fun, fondue food fest and might mean I wash out my blue dusty fondue to give it a go myself when the kitchen is finished!

After a late night I arrived in school to slushy, sleety, snowy misery…oh well!

photo 2 (54)

February 9, 2015

Wednesday 4th February Juicy Mangoes

Morning…awake at 4 am and now so cold that I couldn’t face getting out of bed to make breakfast and brain still frozen so empty of any thoughts…mind you the song I sang several times last night is still etched on it…”a blessing on this house”…I wish!

a blessing on this house

There was a lot of wafting with cloths in the dream scene being set last night..my cardigan wafting (I didn’t have a cloth, so was using my initiative!) was out of time with everyone else, which seemed to cause much hilarity with some, but the buttons kept banging on the floor which caused much annoyance to others. The wafting of a big cloth firstly, didn’t waft high enough, nor secondly, for long enough, so it wafted down on the face of my husband just as he was singing, which brought the song and scene to an abrupt halt…thankfully we’ve got a few more months to perfect our wafting skills!

On my way to school this morning, I popped into Tesco’s to buy myself some lunch and a danish pastry for breakfast..the baker can’t be baking very early as it was 7.30 am and there was nothing. I found myself buying a pack of two Belgian buns, which is very tricky to say when brain still frozen, so my buns rather worryingly kept being referred to as ‘Belgian bums’!

belgiam bun

Our first lesson of the day was P.E and we did a Let’s Move dance programme about Winter Wonderland. There was me thinking it was very appropriate with recent snow and  the children would be thinking of snowballs, snowmen and ice, instead they thought of Santa and the Winter Wonderland theme park!

We then moved on to phonics and handwriting of the letter ‘h’. I asked the children if they could think of any words beginning with the letter and I was impressed when one came up with “healthy.” We were discussing healthy and unhealthy foods in the afternoon so I said “That is a really good word and we will be talking about it later, so keep it in your head.” Another child put their hand up and started talking about juicy mangoes..I was confused as to what this had to do with the letter we were talking about until my colleague mouthed “it’s because its healthy” I then opened my mouth and found myself saying ” Now, keep your juicy mangoes in your head and we will talk about them later too”..WHOOPSIE!..at this point my colleagues turned away with tears rolling down their faces! One even thought she might need her tenner lady pad, she was crying so much.. I, meanwhile tried to carry on as though I had said nothing wrong..which of course I hadn’t, in the world of small children.


I’m looking forward to our team fondue night in later…never been to a fondue party before, although the clear out of my kitchen has produced a very dusty, blue one that was a wedding present many moons ago. I’ll know later whether it will spend another twenty five years stuck in a cupboard corner, end up in the second hand shop or be resurrected back into life and hailed as a ‘good thing’!

February 8, 2015

Tuesday 3rd February Insufficient Snow

Morning…snow, sufficient to mess up the railway system so that husband had to go back into London to find a train out and walk, so not home until 2 am! Sadly not sufficient to prevent me going to work.

photo 1 (55)photo 2 (51)

Last night so cold I spent the evening sat in my house with a hat and scarf on, working, drinking tea out of a Christmas mug because my son couldn’t find anything else, but it had snowflakes on so appropriate!

christmas mug

Nothing like spending an hour at work and then leaving..unfortunately it was to go to the Dr’s where I spent a fortune a prescription tablets for my back and for it to be confirmed that I have now been referred for a scan at the hospital, which I knew already as a letter had been sent. Luckily everything around me looked quite pretty, so my short trip away from work had its ups.

photo 3 (31)

Back for my Phonic lesson observation, which was fine and then the children did some counting back on a number line with a rocket. In the maths area this week they also had to put the correct number of objects in numbered tin cans..or rocket boosters, as we called them. (story link) It’s lovely when you get parental support, which this week involved eating lots of baked beans and soup. Hoping that the child who seems to have a ‘wind’ problem on the carpet hasn’t had it caused by my request!

photo 2 (52)

After work, an Early Years course and then a Fiddler On The Roof rehearsal to look forward to, which as we are setting the Dream scene will be me doing a lot of wailing and screaming as dead grandma…not difficult to act!

February 7, 2015

Monday 2nd February Gingers Don’t Do It For Me!

Morning…my early start is not quite going to plan. Up late and can’t find anything in the mess that is my house. Found myself taking my two slices of bread in a rather large, plastic bin liner as sandwich bags were no where to be found. I will now have to fight through plastic to find my bread at lunchtime but on a positive I can then fill it with any other rubbish lying around as its big enough!

photo 3 (30)

This week our Space book is..

photo 1 (54)

The children had some lovely green play dough  with straws, sequins, googly eyes, buttons with which they had to make their own aliens. Some were brilliant and others, well more a green blob with bits sticking out of it but they all had fun using it and were very creative.


My highlight was when a child showed me her alien and described what she had been doing and she said “look if I press it here you will find the heart”. She pressed the play dough with her finger and inside she had put a heart button..so very cute and pressed my heart button!

Making tea in the staff room at mid morning break and sometimes I should really keep my mouth shut! Everyone was desperate for a sugar fix to keep them going and a hunt for biscuits was on, but sadly, from my point of view, the only ones to be found were ginger. When I announced rather too loudly  “They don’t really do it for me, gingers”…eyes around me were raised and inappropriate comments made…it wasn’t what I meant!

The weather forecast was of huge interest at lunchtime and everyone was looking at mobile phones for snow updates, after a colleague announced she had heard there was going to be a “big dump” This expression is not one I’m familiar with in this context.. I think of ‘rubbish’, my husband refers to a ‘big dump’ in a completely different and rather vulgar context, so the conversation was had as to whether this was an appropriate word to describe ‘ample snow.’

This evening, I have a night ahead of writing up students lesson observation and preparing for my own, but on the plus side I don’t have to drive up to London to take my family to dancing as son’s girlfriend is taking them, so that’s a relief. The moon has a very hazy ring around it tonight ,which someone said is a sign of snow so maybe the ‘big dump’ will happen!

photo 4 (21)

Just for my place name players, I didn’t have to go near… :-)




February 6, 2015

Sunday 1st February A Wet Crotch!

Morning…a pinch and a punch and all of that…it’s February..no sign of Spring around the corner with this chilly weather!

Great 21st Birthday celebrations last night at Don Fernando’s Spanish Tapas Restaurant in Richmond. I was unfortunately the driver which allowed husband to follow Friday night’s shenanigans with Saturday night shenanigans! Husband started off the evening by choosing not to sit next to me, which got people talking as he decided to leave a gap in case I wanted to sit next to a friend, which he is obviously not! When no one sat on the seat, he chose to move himself on to two chairs, one for each ample cheek! Finally, several minutes later he chose to sit next to me, making sure he had consumed several glasses of red wine first, which made him dangerous company and the poor lady who was sitting the other side and had never met him before was in for an evening she’d never expected! The delicious Tapas arrived and were a mixture of so many different things, some quite spicy and some not. Husband seemed to be hungry and didn’t care how much he ate, finishing off anything left on anyone’s plates…If he’d carried on, never mind two chairs, he would have needed three to sit on! One of our friends came over to chat and on sitting down next to my husband pointed to the food he was eating and said ” that was f***ing spicy!” at which husband turned to the lady he had just met that evening and said to the girl “Have you met the Rev’d M….”, the mortified look on the girls face as she thought she had sworn in front of a vicar was a picture, as was the look of glee on my husbands face, as he’d caused her mortification!

The Birthday cake was a Marilyn Munro masterpiece and was very yummy!

Ollies cake

The journey home was not as eventful as anticipated although husband placed his bottom on the de-icer can in the back seat causing a quick spray of the crotch area and looking like he’d wet himself.

Later had a quick shopping trip to the local Tesco’s to buy some large plastic boxes to store more kitchen ware from the cupboards not emptied. Then on to M and S to purchase some different ready meals and an already cooked chicken for Sunday lunch…proper cooking is just not feasible in the mess we currently call our kitchen. Having walked around the big Tesco my back decided it needed a sit down, so a light lunch, before the roast dinner was required..is it any wonder I’m going up in size rather than down?

photo 2 (49)

I still hadn’t got round to purchasing a light shade for our bedroom so thought I’d pop into the big Next. I saw one that was not too ornate and that I thought husband might not mind but it was £45. I tried to find the one on the shelf that matched and found what looked like a similar one but it was £20. I asked a shop assistant who eventually found that the wrong price was on the first shade and although it wasn’t really that price, psychologically I felt like I’d got a bargain!

photo 3 (29)

February 4, 2015

Saturday 31st January Husband Shenanigans

Morning…A spot of snow on the ground when I wake up which is probably why I am so chilly. The state of the house at the end of the week is we have an oven, a dishwasher, a fridge, the old kitchen door blocked off and boards blocking the extension to keep us warm, but not a lot else!


The week ended happily in the classroom and our impromptu evening at the pub with friends ended up with us being labelled the friendliest table the waiter had ever served…hurrah,maybe WE deserve a tip! Husband and friend had several drinks but can need guidance on when to stop, which we were happy to give. It was late and whilst the ladies wanted to go home the men both wanted another pint..no surprise there! They suggested they had one more pint whilst friend’s wife drove me home in her two seater car, which obviously couldn’t fit us all in. We knew this would be dangerous, so persuaded them to leave when we did and start the walk home. On departing, husband tried to bid farewell to son working behind the bar by trying to kiss him and embarrassing him, despite promising he wouldn’t. Then walking outside the pub there was a large notice board. He looked at it and shouted “Look a YES Tribute band are playing”…his friend shouts back “NO,” husband “YES,” friend “NO,”..you can tell it was a long night and they’d had plenty!


We drove past the men staggering home. They were waving their arms in a rather conspicuous manner right opposite another pub, but as they arrived home panting within 20 minutes, we knew a drink plus the walk home was not possible in that timescale.

Just received a text from friend to find that last nights shenanigans were not as it seemed. As she gave her husband a chat about needing to be fitter because he was so out of breath the previous night, he started to smile and on questioning she found out the true story. Apparently friend’s husband needed the toilet so both him and my husband went into the pub, husband bought them both a drink whilst waiting for him to use the facilities. A quick pint and they were on their way! They see a Taxi which they wave down and it gives them a lift home. Unbelievably of grown men, the panting was an act to make us believe they had walked! Like naughty boys they giggled once we found out the truth, like long suffering wives we sighed and shook our heads in despair.

Household chores and a 21st Birthday party to look forward to tonight.

February 2, 2015

Friday 30th January Inappropriate Reading Book

Morning…nothing like having to walk miles just to have your breakfast and having only five minutes to eat it! I wandered the house looking for the one yellow banana that I believed was still in the house and failed to find its location. I attempted to eat one of the slightly green ones I purchased yesterday but they are so green I couldn’t peel them. It is Friday and I would be smiling but I have a lesson observation to get through first and a train to catch….husband just admitted that he must have eaten the last of my yellow breakfast bananas..an admission only made, when he also searched for it and couldn’t find the elusive banana we thought was still here…his memory must be going!

Friend- Take the banana they turn in hours when you change their environment.

Husband- You’d have thought the journey from Kenya would have done that…

And so on to work…children at our school are lucky to read 4 times a week in school, once to a teacher and the other three times to parents who stay four mornings until 9.30 am. We have a variety of reading books and some focus on a tricky word the children might need to focus on. Remembering it is Friday, we had a stressful day ahead of us with an inspector visiting and as mentioned before, the world of small children can be interpreted so very wrongly, a colleague listened to a child read the following book…

photo 5 (14)

The focus word is obvious from the title, but the interpretation on some pages caused raised eyebrows and a struggle to keep a straight face as the child read.

photo 3 (28)

photo 4 (19)

Thankfully the other pages were worded ‘Come to the.. ‘ but when the final page said

photo 2 (47)

We were back in the land of ‘Crunchy Ring’ biscuit humour! Think the book will maybe stay in the cupboard from now on, as it hasn’t quite moved with the times!

In Music we took the next step with out instruments. The children in their groups had to make a group musical pattern with hammer, drill, screwdriver and saw pictures. They wrote the number underneath the number of pictures they had chosen and played their pattern on the instruments we had chosen yesterday. Later the groups swapped to play each others patterns.

photo 4 (20)

The children were engaged in all sorts of other activities and at the end of the day they all blasted off the junk model rockets they had been making all week in the garden. They sang our Space song “Climb aboard the Spaceship” first and threw the rockets up into the air..some of the rockets didn’t survive the blast off to the moon and unfortunately ended up in the bin at the end of the day!

photo 5 (15)

It’s been a long week and with no kitchen we decided to go for a meal at the local pub where my son is now working , along with some friends. The pub has had a bit of a makeover recently and it was our first visit in years. We were nicely surprised and the men were nicely oiled, which always makes for an interesting evening!

February 1, 2015

Thursday 29th January Chamois Leather Rub Down!

Morning…some radiators work, some missing and some don’t…extra layers worn last night but hurrah, I didn’t need my bed socks! Yesterday when I arrived at work I was so cold that I stayed wrapped up for hours until I stood in front of a heater to teach phonics and had a HOT moment…children and staff looked on despairingly as layers were suddenly removed and caretaker later told me I needed a rub down with a chamois leather..apparently it cools down his horses…wasn’t sure how to take that!

chamois leather

Youngest son had his first audition yesterday afternoon to do a 3 year Musical Theatre course at PPA in Guildford, a Performing Arts College. He didn’t finish until early evening and was one of the last to do his singing audition but he wasn’t entirely happy as his voice cracked. Fingers crossed.

Talking of fingers, well nails actually..I’ve been chewing my nails recently so have thin, unshaped nails which keep catching. One edge was getting to me and one of my team told me to stop biting and get a nail file. When I said I didn’t have one, she went on a search and came back with…

photo 1 (52)

yep, most resourceful..the largest piece of sandpaper from the DT resources. I didn’t tuck it into my handbag for future use for obvious reasons.

Second sitting of Cheese Straw Star making today in cooking and a child asked why we called them cheese ‘straws’ when they weren’t like straws…that took some explaining. Whilst some children cooked, I did paired addition where each child had a go at knocking down star plastic bottles with bean bags. They then had to add the two numbers together and write the number sentence on the Whiteboard. The task didn’t start very successfully when the first two number sentences ended up being 0 + 0 =0 which was hardly challenging! Unfortunately throwing skills at a target needing some extra practice ,so we moved the children closer to the bottles and encouraged angry throwing to get some power! Success..3+4=and one even managed 6 +3=

photo 2 (45)

We also had music where the children had to decide which instruments most sounded like a drill, hammer, saw and a screwdriver, the tools they had used to mend the spaceship yesterday. The hammer was a banging drum..get it. The saw was a scraping sand block…get it. The drill was a tinny steel drum…sort of get it. The screwdriver was a twinkling triangle..don’t get it at all and we voted twice!

After school I had a Performing Arts Choir club which finishes at 4 pm. I’d gone into the Music Room with the weather dry but cold and came out faced with a snowy blizzard and white covered playground.

photo 1 (50)photo 4 (17)

Sadly, by evening the snow had turned to rain and the roads were clear enough for me to take my children to dancing and to know a snow day was not on the cards tomorrow.