June 4, 2015

Tuesday 5th- Wednesday 6th May Blooming Men!

Morning.. Bank Holiday yesterday and we had a walk round the May Fair on the Green.

May Fair yateley

Purchased my weekend Gig on the Green tickets at the Early Bird price, a packet of fudge and my husband bought me my customary 99 ice cream…I know how to live it up and he knows how to really spoil me!

Ice cream may fair

A friend popped round for a cup of tea and I filled the kettle and chatted as I waited for it to boil. I turned away to put something in the dishwasher and when I turned back to pour boiling water on the tea bag, I found no water! My face, which I have been told always tells a story, looked bemused and confused…am I going senile and imagining I’ve filled the kettle? My friend seeing my thought process says “it’s alright there was water in the kettle, your husband just used it for his dinner”…blooming cheek!

Think my husband should be banned from the kitchen at times…he might cook lovely meals but in the process he uses an abundance of pans and consumes an abundance of alcohol. He also doesn’t always recognise the correct chemicals to use in household appliances. Time Hop reminded me that my husband on finding the dishwasher full, put the tablet in, but forgot to press the ‘on’ button. I opened the dishwasher and seeing it full decided to put it on. I saw that there was a tablet in the machine, but for some reason it was too big and the tablet holder wouldn’t shut properly. I checked why, only to find that my undomesticated man had only gone and used a HARPIC toilet cleaner tablet…just what you want for cleaning dishes!

harpic

It’s Wednesday and yesterday morning I woke up to find that Winston the rabbit had escaped out of his hutch, I put the bins out to find him about to escape out of the back gate. My body never moved so fast and my hands never gripped so tight. Blooming rabbit!

Winston lazing

I then found that both my sons had accused the other of not putting the rabbit in his hutch the previous night because they kept finding him running around the garden. Did it not occur to either of them to check the hutch or did they think that Winston was capable of doing a Houdini escape act each time? I happened to lift the plastic overnight cover off the hutch to find that whilst the bottom door of his two storey mansion was tightly locked, the top storey door was wide open for a rabbit who likes to roam free to go roaming!

The good thing about a bank holiday is that after one day, you have reached mid week…a great result.

June 3, 2015

Saturday 2nd May-Monday 4th May Upstage Show

Morning…Dress rehearsal last night at Camberley Theatre and I managed to crash into a few children and some scenery. I had my bottom pinched unexpectedly mid performance, so lucky I’m such a pro my face didn’t flinch…well, not much anyway! I didn’t quite sing along at the right time and my zimmer frame got stuck in the curtain. I didn’t quite move at the right time either, slightly important in a dance show. Instead I had an onstage tussle with the curtain, made up a few moves, goldfish mouthed a few words and tried to keep smiling and acting quite normally. My gripper knickers are gripping, but sadly not enough!

There is unfortunately nothing more I can do, for tonight I will be performing in front of an audience…wishing everyone and especially me, all the luck in the world. I will certainly need it.

Husband..as will I, although I abandoned my gripper knickers in favour of going commando.

Friend…Can’t wait to see it tonight.

Friend…I do hope you are not talking about his unsupported parts.

Husband…unsupported and chafing…

It’s Sunday and we had a fun time doing the Upstage show last night. My husband and I had a pre show meal and drink at Bill’s, so knickers needed to do even more gripping!

Bills

Lulu, the toilet roll toilet hat made another stage performance in The Wedding Singer section and got a big cheer from the audience..

Lulu upstage

along with my old lady zimmer frame boogieing and increasing, double chin!

lulu boogieing

zimmer frame boogie

Playing a drunk woman as the wife of my husband in Les Miserables was always going to be an easier and more believable role than some for me to play. My face seems to contort without effort, which does wonders for the wrinkles and my husband’s Fiddler beard even came in quite useful!

les mis 1

Les Mis

les mis 2

Mops in the Sailor section were a definite issue for me. Thankfully, in last nights performance I didn’t get my mop stuck behind the head of the person next to me so I couldn’t move, like I did in the afternoon technical rehearsal. That caused much hilarity…we were actually crying!

I was however the only one in the performance whose partner had to twirl the mop an extra half turn due to my sub standard mop twirling. I have a chance to get it right today. Holding flags was far simpler and less stressful.

mop twirling

flag holding

It’s Monday! Gosh my feet ached after my Upstage dancing experience, but I felt I earned the two glasses of wine I rewarded myself in the evening! Hot stuff thrusts with a truncheon that squeaks means that the term a ‘squeaky truncheon’ has a new meaning in my husbands head!

squeaky truncheons

Full Mounty

Dancing with a mop got no better, as it got caught a second time between board on my right and a person on my left! Here is the photo evidence.

smile upstage

What a disaster!

Fosse required concentration and huge dancing effort..my eyes couldn’t leave the floor or perhaps I was watching everyone else’s feet very carefully..

fosse

an about turn and everyone else is looking at the floor and I decide to look straight ahead!

Fosse 1

It just goes to show that it is far safer to let me do my own characterful, individual thing..

Match made in Heaven